Tag Archives: Adoptee Rights

Talking way too much with ‘Adoption: The Making of Me,’ and it was fun!

When I was invited to be guest on the adoptee-centered podcast Adoption: The Making of Me, produced and published by podcasters and producers Louise Browne and Sarah Reinhardt, I expected this to be something new for me.

Outside of what I have published in my adoptee memoir, I refrain publicly from talking about my backstory with my biological mother, my family life before I left home at the age 18, and issues that I don’t share when discussing adoption legislative reform and adoptee rights advocacy.

This time, I knew it would be different, and it seemed OK.

(If you prefer, you can listen to the podcast here, on Apple Podcasts.)

Browne and Reinhardt asked me to talk about topics I mostly keep private. So I did. I highlighted issues such the very bad domestic abuse in my adoptive family, which I have written about before. I also discussed other issues growing up I mostly keep private, as I focus more on legislative and upstream reforms to end the inequities of this system.

Hopefully this conversation may help some others, which is why it seemed right to do this. Within hours of it being published I received a comment from a fellow adoptee using words to describe my experience that I never use to this day describing my life as an adoptee or my life story. That is fine, because each of us can experience a story with our own points of view.

Some of the other issues we covered include the denial of equal legal rights to domestic adoptees in my birth state Michigan and other states. I also talked about the history of my birthplace, the long-closed adoption mill and maternity hospital in Detroit called Crittenton General Hospital. I even was able to discuss my Finnish heritage and provide comparisons of the United States to Finland, homeland to my maternal great grandparents on my mother’s family side. As we closed, I managed to sneak in a few quick facts–because I love facts!–that the Finnish government and its national health service supports mothers and kids, making adoption in Finland rare and almost nonexistent.

As we nearly completed our hour-long conversation, I painfully realized I did too much of the talking without enough time for conversation, and they graciously forgave this sin.

I really appreciated the wonderful talk and these two podcasters, who are doing a brilliant job allowing adopted persons to tell stories to help others understand the adoption experience, from the point of view by those who lived it and who are the experts. You can also catch copies of their podcasts on their YouTube channel. Visit their past interviews to listen and learn from the voices of those who know this issue in the marrow of their bones.

Thanks again, ladies!

Restoring rights to adoptees in Michigan ultimately is about power, so let’s use it

I am continuing to create short videos focusing on the injustice experienced by thousands of adoptees born in Michigan who are denied equal treatment by law to access their vital records only because of their status at birth.

For 2023, I will continue to focus on Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Ultimately she will drive any agenda if there is true legislative reform. Her team can and should be coordinating legislative proposals based on measures now recently passed in other legislatures in the past two years.

However, Gov. Whitmer really will not care unless there is a cost. I outline that calculus in my video here.

For adoptees born in Michigan who are still denied legal access to their vital records, I would encourage you to learn how other states got it right, like New York, and propose that Michigan’s legislature adopt similar reform, without delay.

Focus on the law and its denied rights to thousands.

Tell your story, but focus on injustice and equity, and hold lawmakers to account who claim to champion both.

Remember, one cannot champion the status quo and claim to be an advocate for equity and equality at the same time. By logic alone, that is impossible.

As I have noted before, adoption is a uniquely adored American institution by both parties, Democrat and Republican.

Therefore, in getting a leader like Gov. Whitmer to take action, the logical path is to create a real political cost for inaction and for failure to fix a massive wrong. This matters because she is making moves nationally for her next political chapter. Politics is an often bruising gladiatorial arena and a choreographed stage at the same time. Those on that stage carefully measure the costs.

As long as Gov. Whitmer sees no cost to her continued inaction, we will not see any progress on reform.

You can read a longer essay I wrote about this approach at the start of 2023.

Thanks for your work to advocate for reform. It’s decades overdue.

My sister will die never knowing her past

On Jan. 3, 2020, The Detroit Free Press published my guest column on Michigan’s discriminatory and restrictive adoption records law that denies Michigan’s adoptees legal access to their original birth records, except by overcoming restrictive barriers.

In my adoptive sister’s case, she falls in the 35-year period, between 1945 and 1980, for which the state statutes have almost impossible barriers for an adoptee to overcome to get what is theirs as a legal and human right. My sister, who is seriously ill and bedridden in a skilled nursing home, will likely die in the near future without knowing her biological kin, her biological parents, and her ancestral past.

This unfortunate outcome is intentional. In fact, this scenario was the design of those who created Michigan’s biased law that is zealously enforced by Michigan’s vital records guardians at the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services.

My sister and I both were born in these post-World War II boom years of adoption, that saw nearly 3 million adoptees separated from their biological kin through the U.S. adoption system.

It is no coincidence that Michigan’s lawmakers adopted the most restrictive rules for adoptees in this cohort, because records secrecy continues to hide from the public how widespread and systemic that system was in the United States, impacting literally millions of Americans.

My book on my own experience challenging this discriminatory records-keeping system details how adoption history has been hidden, preventing adoptees from knowing themselves and their past and the public from knowing the truth about the many players who promoted this system for decades.

Author note: The guest column published by The Detroit Free Press has slight changes from the original I submitted, without changing the substance of the submitted column.

The Detroit Adoptee Manifesto: Time to change the battlefield

As the year 2017 comes to a close, millions of American adoptees are no closer to receiving equal treatment under U.S. laws than they were decades earlier. In 1975, the United Kingdom long moved on from this issue, giving all adoptees full access to their records once they turned 18. In fact, the issue of adoptee equal rights is not even a concern in most developed nations. Not so in the United States, the country with the greatest number of adoptees than any developed country in the world.

Robert Greene’s The 33 Strategies of War

From a strategic perspective, most U.S. adoptees have not organized cohesively or embraced successful strategies that have altered this battlefield. This includes the all-critical inner battle of the mind that must occur first before any change and tactical advance occurs on the messy, fluid field of combat in the real world. I believe its time to reset the chessboard and start anew, starting first with each individual adoptee.

I recommend that adoptees read author Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, The 33 Strategies of War, and more. His treatise on war offers a cool, hard look at human conflict and offers wisdom demonstrated by historic greats from Sun Tzu to Napoleon Bonaparte to Muhammad Ali. He provides a set of ideas how to grab victory from whatever conflict and foes you face.

I just published The Detroit Adoptee Manifesto. In it, I draw from key concepts explained by Greene in The 33 Strategies of War, which I think adoptees should consider as they choose how they want to live their lives and then change the world around them, including the adoption system that denies millions of Americans basic human rights. Most of these ideas are explained in greater detail in my forthcoming memoir on the American adoption experience, You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are: An Adoptee’s Journey Through the American Adoption Experience. The strategies I describe in my essay are:

Author Robert Greene

Projecting Strength, Not Vulnerability
Learning from the Masters and Applying that Wisdom
Having a Grand Strategic Vision
Learning from Defeat
Defining your Opponents and Exposing Them and Their Weaknesses
Becoming a Fighter, Not a Victim
Defining The Battlefield
Knowing Your Enemies
Launching a Revolution of Thinking

Greene notes that all persons can benefit from thinking strategically, to achieve critical life goals: “To have the power that only strategy can bring, you must be able to elevate yourself above the battlefield, to focus on your long-term objectives, to craft an entire campaign, to get out of the reactive mode that so many battles in life lock you into. Keeping your overall goals in mind, it becomes much easier to decide when to fight and when to walk away.”

Bittersweet one-year anniversary of winning court order for my original birth certificate

One year ago today, on June 17, 2016, Michigan 3rd Circuit Court Judge Christopher Dingell signed a court order requiring the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS) to release a copy of my original birth certificate. This decision came more than 27 years after I had found my birth family and knew the names of all my biological kin.

This is what I wrote on June 17, 2016, the day a court order Michigan to give me my original birth certificate: “That’s me on the phone this morning with the Michigan 3rd Circuit Court making the case why an original birth certificate of an adoptee is not a top secret document that should be held under lock and key by a paternalistic state that treats a class of individuals as lesser citizens simply because they were born illegitimately as adoptees. The judge agreed with my points and the facts of the case. Booyah!”

Judge Dingell agreed with facts of my case. Great. We all like to win and see justice prevail.

However, just getting the trial proved almost as frustrating as getting any record from the fanatically-unhelpful MDHHS. (This is the same department that covered up its failings in the Flint lead and water scandal.)

I had to make repeated calls on a weekly basis to get on the court docket. A court date was cancelled without notification or apology.

When the court date came, by phone, the judge’s line of questioning took a bizarre twist, when his questions showed he had more interest in whether my birth father had some abstract legal standing in the matter, not the immorality and openly discriminatory nature of a law that promoted unequal treatment or the denial of a record that should have been given to me nearly three decades earlier, by law.

In fact, the judge took little personal interest in my story at all. What’s more, his out-of-nowhere questions about my birth father had no bearing on my request, as my birth father was dead and more importantly had no legal standing at all in my case. I had already provided the state legal documents in 1989 that should have forced the state to surrender my birth certificate along with other birth records I received.

I will not even begin to discuss the larger historic issue of how paternity issues have historically harmed birth mothers and illegitimate infants throughout history, in often lethal ways, and how the judge’s questions seemed oblivious of historic reality.

The court victory, though satisfying, was another frustrating and also insulting experience that typifies the systemic and discriminatory practices in most U.S. states against U.S. adoptees seeking their equal rights and documents that are theirs by birthright.

No court case should ever had happened, according to at least one approved written statement the MDHHS shared with me after the hearing–see the state’s explanation to question 19 on this summary of the state’s replies to my emailed questions. No official involved in deciding my request for my birth certificate would speak to me on the record, despite repeated attempts to secure interviews with those handling my case.

I wrote a detailed account of my experience on my website, revealing how the state almost certainly broke state law denying my original birth record and enlisted nearly 20 state officials to keep me from having my birth record without any policy rationale or basic human decency. I also alerted more than 20 media outlets about the state’s abuse of power and likely violation of law after I won the court ruling. Only one reporter contacted me, and the newspaper did not write a story.

In the end, the story of an adoptee is essentially the experience of being a bastard–and this came as no shock to me. It is the experience that many adoptees live navigating secretive public health agencies and the courts for many decades of our lives.

I describe my journey culminating in my court victory in my forthcoming book on my experience seeking justice as a U.S. adoptee. Today, only nine states allow adult U.S. adoptees to access their birth records and, essentially, be treated equally under the law like other Americans in seeking their identity and the most essential identity document humans will own.