Category Archives: Adoptee

Talking way too much with ‘Adoption: The Making of Me,’ and it was fun!

When I was invited to be guest on the adoptee-centered podcast Adoption: The Making of Me, produced and published by podcasters and producers Louise Browne and Sarah Reinhardt, I expected this to be something new for me.

Outside of what I have published in my adoptee memoir, I refrain publicly from talking about my backstory with my biological mother, my family life before I left home at the age 18, and issues that I don’t share when discussing adoption legislative reform and adoptee rights advocacy.

This time, I knew it would be different, and it seemed OK.

(If you prefer, you can listen to the podcast here, on Apple Podcasts.)

Browne and Reinhardt asked me to talk about topics I mostly keep private. So I did. I highlighted issues such the very bad domestic abuse in my adoptive family, which I have written about before. I also discussed other issues growing up I mostly keep private, as I focus more on legislative and upstream reforms to end the inequities of this system. 

Hopefully this conversation may help some others, which is why it seemed right to do this. Within hours of it being published I received a comment from a fellow adoptee using words to describe my experience that I never use to this day describing my life as an adoptee or my life story. That is fine, because each of us can experience a story with our own points of view.

Some of the other issues we covered include the denial of equal legal rights to domestic adoptees in my birth state Michigan and other states. I also talked about the history of my birthplace, the long-closed adoption mill and maternity hospital in Detroit called Crittenton General Hospital. I even was able to discuss my Finnish heritage and provide comparisons of the United States to Finland, homeland to my maternal great grandparents on my mother’s family side. As we closed, I managed to sneak in a few quick facts–because I love facts!–that the Finnish government and its national health service supports mothers and kids, making adoption in Finland rare and almost nonexistent.

As we nearly completed our hour-long conversation, I painfully realized I did too much of the talking without enough time for conversation, and they graciously forgave this sin.

I really appreciated the wonderful talk and these two podcasters, who are doing a brilliant job allowing adopted persons to tell stories to help others understand the adoption experience, from the point of view by those who lived it and who are the experts. You can also catch copies of their podcasts on their YouTube channel. Visit their past interviews to listen and learn from the voices of those who know this issue in the marrow of their bones.

Thanks again, ladies!

After five years, it’s time to adjust prices for inflation

Rudy Owens’ memoir on the American adoption experience

After five years, I will be slightly increasing the price of the paperback and e-book versions of my memoir, You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are: An Adoptee’s Journey through the American Adoption Experience.

This week, Amazon, the monopoly that controls the world of self-publishing, informed KDP account holders that it was changing its fee structure. Amazon told those who sell on its platform costs were going up: “During this time, we’ve kept our printing fees the same, despite increasing costs of materials and labor over the past six years. On June 20, 2023, we’re changing our fees to better align with today’s cost to print books. We have not taken this decision lightly, and have reduced printing costs where possible.”

Inflation has hit all of us, and my prices have not kept up since I first published my memoir in May 2018. My book remains an entirely self-funded effort focused on reforming discriminatory adoption secrecy laws and raising awareness about adoption as a public health issue and gross legal injustice to millions. What I make from publishing my book is used entirely to fund the publication of my website with research related to my book and resources to help adoptees, particularly adoptees denied basic legal equality in my birth state of Michigan.

Starting in late May, customers looking to buy my book will see the following prices changes:

EBook:
Former list price on Amazon: $7.99
New list price on Amazon: $8.99

Paperback:
Former list price on Amazon: $15.99
New list price on Amazon: $16.99

Other platforms where I sell my book online, such as IngramSpark and Smashwords, will also reflect the new pricing scheme as well.

Thanks again to every reader who has supported my story and my vision to reform how this nation continues to treat all adoptees inequitably solely because of their status at birth. I could not have done this without all of you!

Counting adoptions and not counting adoptions: a tale of two countries

Adoptions in Finland since 1987; source: Statistics Finland

Finland’s national agency tracking the country’s health and other data, called Statistics Finland, provides complete, accurate data on all adoptions in Finland. The Nordic country had less than 300 in 2020.

So here we have, again, another country that has mandated the counting of all adoptions–the way public health systems should work in modern countries, when those countries have functional national health systems.

The United States, by comparison, does not have such a system. In fact, it has a fractured national and state and local health public health systems in terms of coordination and funding and in addressing population health issues.

In addition, adoptions outside of intercountry adoption are not tracked in the United States as an explicitly desired outcome by the U.S. adoption system to hide its massive impact on our country, our residents, and even our collective population health.

We are lousy, and the way to fail at every step to be a functional nation is glaringly obvious again through adoption data and a simple country-to-country comparison.

Oh, by the way, Finland barely has any adoptions, and the numbers are actually dropping in recent years. Kudos, Finland, for a job well done!

Finland also has a robust national health system, and they are healthier and live longer than we do in the USA. I could go on, but I’ll stop there. I’m exhausted already.

Restoring rights to adoptees in Michigan ultimately is about power, so let’s use it

I am continuing to create short videos focusing on the injustice experienced by thousands of adoptees born in Michigan who are denied equal treatment by law to access their vital records only because of their status at birth.

For 2023, I will continue to focus on Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Ultimately she will drive any agenda if there is true legislative reform. Her team can and should be coordinating legislative proposals based on measures now recently passed in other legislatures in the past two years.

However, Gov. Whitmer really will not care unless there is a cost. I outline that calculus in my video here.

For adoptees born in Michigan who are still denied legal access to their vital records, I would encourage you to learn how other states got it right, like New York, and propose that Michigan’s legislature adopt similar reform, without delay.

Focus on the law and its denied rights to thousands.

Tell your story, but focus on injustice and equity, and hold lawmakers to account who claim to champion both.

Remember, one cannot champion the status quo and claim to be an advocate for equity and equality at the same time. By logic alone, that is impossible.

As I have noted before, adoption is a uniquely adored American institution by both parties, Democrat and Republican.

Therefore, in getting a leader like Gov. Whitmer to take action, the logical path is to create a real political cost for inaction and for failure to fix a massive wrong. This matters because she is making moves nationally for her next political chapter. Politics is an often bruising gladiatorial arena and a choreographed stage at the same time. Those on that stage carefully measure the costs.

As long as Gov. Whitmer sees no cost to her continued inaction, we will not see any progress on reform.

You can read a longer essay I wrote about this approach at the start of 2023.

Thanks for your work to advocate for reform. It’s decades overdue.

Dear Governor Whitmer, signed Michigan-born adoptee

The year is 2023. Each passing day means another day that uncounted and likely tens of thousands of adoptees separated from their families by the adoption system and current state laws are denied equal treatment by law and knowledge of their vital records.

Many in my era are now old enough to have died already from chronic disease and other health issues as we age into our older years.

That means the birth mothers of this large cohort or post-World War II era adoptees are more likely to have died or may be close to the end. This is an issue that impacts my own family personally, and I am still amazed at the lifelong, permanent harm created by secrecy and family separation.

This year, I continue to focus my advocacy for decades-overdue legislative reform on the only person who counts for ultimately moving a piece of legislation through a Democrat-controlled state legislature. That person is Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, a Democrat.

My “Dear Governor” video may not ever be seen by Gov. Whitmer, or even her staff. But that is the work of other adoptees and maybe even a journalist or two to share it. On April 29, 2023, I posted this video and this message:

“The time is now, Gov. Whitmer. Thousands and thousands of Michigan-born adoptees, including me, are denied access to the original vital records by law—only because we were relinquished from our kin by adoption. Let’s change that and start the new chapter now. You can contact me any time, and I’d be happy to give you a copy of my book why legal reform is long overdue and why it’s time to right historic wrongs to people born in my birth state. For more information about Michigan’s outdated adoption secrecy laws and the need for reform, please visit the website for my book on the U.S. adoption experience and my experience seeking reform and justice in accessing records that are mine as a legal and human right. Go to: www.howluckyuare.com.”

Some of my fellow Michigan-born adoptees have shared this already, and I appreciate that. Thank you for what you are doing!

Focus on equality and nothing but equality:

The only reform that I will champion is reform that restores permanent, legal access to an adoptee’s original birth record without any obstruction and interference upon an adopted person reaching adulthood. I hope all adoptees in Michigan working toward a shared vision of legal reform will not partner with any person or organization who is not able to commit to this goal in writing and publicly. Remember, if folks don’t commit to clear communications, it’s best to take a pass and work with those who do. Serious people are clear. Hucksters spin yarns and evade. (Click on this link focusing on adoptee rights to hear a 15-minute version of a yarn promoting bad reform, rebutted by 15 minutes correcting the misinformation with facts).

In the world of adoptee rights advocacy, there are those who champion true reform and those who promote bad policy, similar to the incredibly regressive and harmful bill in California this spring—AB 1302, opposed nationally by nearly all leading adoptee rights groups.

So, unless someone who is an advocate can step forward clearly and publicly, with a published statement that can be read by everyone regarding their position statements, they are not being serious and can be discounted as not being true adoptee rights advocates.

Mark Twain, philosopher of the art of lying

Mark Twain got this part right about the hucksters and lying, long ago. “Among other common lies, we have the silent lie—the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.”

I urge anyone in Michigan who shares a goal for lasting reform not work any group or persons claimed to be adoptee rights advocates who are not honest, clear, and public where they stand. In the spirit of full disclosure, my views on this topic are clear, and you can find them on my website and in my book, You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are.